In the good old days, when the sun came out in Great Britain, we headed for the beach, or the pub, or we sat in the garden, eating BBQ’d food and drank beer or wine, (or Pimm’s if you want to be very British) whilst taking in some rays.
The sun made us all very happy. But not anymore. It’s forbidden.
As temperatures appeared to rise around the globe last week, there were grim warnings from my home countries government in the UK. “Stay indoors between 11am and 4pm,” they wailed, “or you will all die. Die, I tell you, die!!”
Later they told them to check on our neighbors, because it’s certain a vicious smog would lodge in their throats and choke them all to death.
What used to be called “a lovely sunny day” is now seen as an Armageddon or Doomsday and could potentially be the end of mankind as we know it.
The police told my fellow countrymen that in no uncertain circumstances should they jump into open air swimming pools, the sea, or rivers and when hundreds ignored this half-baked nonsense and turned up for a dip at a newly opened water park, it was immediately closed due to overcrowding of just 23 people.
I spoke to my parents, and they, like others had decided to head to the pub instead, but “Ohhhh Nooooo” screamed the authorities, “they mustn't do that”.
“Do not drink beer when the sun is shining or you will obviously self-combust”.
To the beach then? Nope not allowed. It’s too dangerous and if you drive, you will create more carbon dioxide.